Wednesday, October 07, 2009
"The Black Jesus Child"
(Turn me into an 'Angry Black Woman' if you want but you'd be doing yourself a great disservice because...)
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Black community has a crisis on hand. No, it isn't AIDS. No, it isn't the number of children born out of wedlock. It's not education, class, or racism. No, it's much more common than that. It is an ongoing case of the "Black Jesus Child". Now, don't insult me-- I know the biblical Jesus was "Black". But this ain't about Him. As a matter of fact, this has nothing to do with religion at all.
There are two versions of the Black Jesus Child: he is either "Perfect and Ignored" or he's "Perfect and Adored". This particular post is for the "Perfect and Adored" Black Jesus Child (because the other form of entitlement takes me in a different direction that I don't feel like talking about right now).
You can find the Black Jesus Child pretty much any where in Black middle class America. He is very easy to find. He is the attractive single man with the legal job, no children, and (maybe) goes to church. He is well-groomed, well-spoken, well-educated, and well on his way to traditional means of security and success. Everyone loves him! He's well-versed on Hip Hop music and politics. His charisma is entrancing to most and he always manages to smell nice. The problem is that he knows all of this.
Mr. Wonderful has been taught and reminded of how rare he is in the Black community and the years of continuous praise has convinced him that his desirability is much greater than what his doting mother even tells him. To him, he is one of the few upholders of traditional values within the culture and the last of a dying breed. The problem with this is that he abuses this perception.
You see, when it comes to dating, Black women (and I do believe this outlook was inherited) have this paranoia of a mating scarcity. You'll hear them with the "There aren't many good men out there!" or "The good ones don't want Black women!" complaints all the time. In an article published several years ago, Essence magazine put out some numbers to confirm the frustration and then everybody REALLY got fukked up because now it was 'official' and true-- there was evidence! I have definitely had my share of dating duds so I can empathize with them at times, but I want to shed some light on the Black Jesus Child's role in this ongoing saga.
The Black Jesus Child is perfect (with forgivable flaws) in his eyes. This perfection is enforced by his circle of family, friends, co-workers and he embraces it fully. But it all goes wrong when he decides to don a crown for it. Let's just say even with the option of dating other races, he's only attracted to Black women. What does he do in dating?
He dangles his desirability in front of every woman who has earned his attention. He struts his accolades and accomplishments to every Black woman he assumes he would be an ideal mate for. And then what, you ask?
He rarely closes the deal.
He knows she is willing to commit but he's not willing to settle for her. Why not? Because (in his mind) he has the Black women of the world at his disposal and still enjoys the childhood game of "Na na na na, you can't catch me!"
Not only have I dated them and are friends with them, but I'm related to a few (who I'm hoping will retire soon). Time will tell. Things seem to sometimes change after they've burned enough bridges and they realize that hairline is starting to recede. But consider yourself warned and informed. Those tricky bastards often go undetected.