Thursday, March 29, 2007

***Birthday Gratitude!***


THANK YOU!!!!


You guys are the f'ing BEST!
Thanks for the birthday text messages, off-key singing, e-cards, e-mails, phone calls, PowerPoint presentations, and fantabulous PB&J with Doritos surprises!
This is great!

Thanks again!
P.S.- How about I didn't cry or get depressed ONE TIME during today! Talk about progress, lol





Friday, March 23, 2007

***Love is Blind...***


...and apparently suffocating and uncomfortable.



Tuesday, March 20, 2007

***AHA!***

Why Angelina...
what big ARM
VEINS you have!

Finally!
Someone with veins that I don't have!
Woo hoo!

Blah Blah Blah:

Bulging veins in Angelina Jolie's arms and wrists are caused by too much exercise without a proper diet, experts say. Experts said they probably resulted from working out while not eating enough. Steve Mongey, head trainer at the Virgin Active gym in Kensington, West London, said: "These veins can be caused by weight-bearing exercises. "The body needs to pump oxygen into the veins for these exercises and this causes the veins to expand. "If you don't keep your eating up and do a lot of exercise the fat gets stripped away and the veins become exposed." Miss Jolie, pictured at a movie premiere in Los Angeles, is a self-confessed fitness fanatic. She went through an intensive training regime for her role as Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider movies to ensure she could perform her own stunts.

She is not the only woman in the limelight to attract attention for visible veins.

Last summer, 47-year-old Madonna, whose exercise regime has sculpted a remarkably youthful figure, was seen to have hands that more than gave her age away.

Whatever.
If I was rich, I'd buy a bunch of medical excuses too!


Monday, March 19, 2007

Face-Cracking

Let's chat about face-cracking.

No, I'm not talking super dry skin. When something gets cracked its imperfect, right? For some it might lose value or it might not but, however you look at it, it's different in a not-so-great way. Your face is one of the major parts of your identity so when it gets "cracked" it's just another way to say you were embarrassed by something.

Anyhoo, yesterday I got my face cracked in front of like 4 or 5 people. I'm in this class and part of the whole point is to deliver this presentation by the end of it. Well, yesterday I had my practice presentation and it didn't go well at all. I get up in front of the room and about 5 minutes into it, I make my first mistake. Now mentally stuck in a "I can't believe I just did that" moment, and I make another one. By the time I make my 4th mistake, I'm like "Fukkit. It's already ruined. There's no point now." Yet I continue to give the presentation on top of that. Not "despite", but "on top of". Not "in perseverance" but in a "Get this over with!" way.


This presentation is 1.5 hours long. I literally stopped like 5 times trying to come up with ways to bail because I felt foolish and was humiliated by how horribly I was doing. I just unraveled in front of the room. By the end of it I was in tears. And certainly not wanting to participate in the feedback session that followed either. I knew I bombed. And I knew I was going to get the pity compliments. In summer track meets, there's always that kid who is running a race like the 800 meter or the mile and is slow as molasses. The other kids are in the grass putting their sweats back on and he/she is still running the race. And what happens during the last 100 meters? The audience erupts in encouragement with their cheers and applause as he/she finally crosses the finish line. Pity claps.

I hated that crap.

So anyway, I'm driving home and I saw how significant I am to myself. I really saw myself as being above that practice presentation. I was nonchalant about it because the parts I had practiced were impressive to myself, lol. I was like "Wow, I really look and sound like I know what's up!" But when my idealism was dented in my first couple of mistakes, I took me down. All of a sudden my presentation wasn't good enough and I wanted to just stop and save face. When I'm invited to participate in something, I won't agree unless I know things will be done well. I refuse to associate myself with sub-par productions and events. Well, I couldn't disassociate me with myself so I was stuck and was forced to deal with what was coming up within...constantly. There wasn't anywhere to hide (which is probably why I stopped so many times).

In the end, I really got how my attachments to my idealisms are a hindrance instead of the motivation I thought they were. It's one thing to say "This is what I want" but when I become glued to "And this is how it has to happen", I'm learning to take a step back. And you know what else? I also now see that whenever I get my face cracked, I'm just being significant. And yes, I am important and I do matter.

However, now my Life no longer requires a PR campaign:o)


Friday, March 16, 2007

***Well, I Thought It Was Funny***


Too Much Beyonce?
Uploaded by apartment3b




Okay, Miss J!
Better watch out cuz lil' man's walk is kinda FIERCE!

You heard him taunting you, right?
"You must not know 'bout me! You must not know 'bout me!"
This kid is not playing games.
Did you see the way he slung that chair around?
Crawling on the floor with dominating prowess?

Sleep with one eye open, Miss J!




Thursday, March 15, 2007

***Salty***

Ooohh, this picture is goooood...


This right here speaks to my childhood. My mother mastered this sacred afro-maternal move, "The Mandible Snatch", with ninja-like speed by the time I was 16. And she usually followed it with her trademark low-octave-through-the-teeth snarl of
"
What did you just say???" or "Watch your mouth!"


P.S.- And if you have no idea who this chick is, you are officially not cool.
All cool people know who this is.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

***A Moment of Wisdom***


" Be ye thankful for the tacky, trashy skanks of the world.
For if they weren't around, a lot of tasteless men and women would go undetected."

--- joo no hoo




Saturday, March 10, 2007

***Disney's Drawing Black People!***

" The Walt Disney Co. has started production on an animated musical fairy tale called "The Frog Princess," which will be set in New Orleans and feature the Walt Disney Studio's first black princess." (click here for more)

Well it's about gotdamn TIME!


(and it better not be Whoopi Goldberg's voice)



I guess they realized we ain't cool with just being lions.



Tuesday, March 06, 2007

***Possibly Stupid Q***

Q: Let's say I drink water out of the same bottle that I refill at the water cooler. Then let's say (oops!) I'm sick. Yet, I'm still thirsty so, I continue to drink from that bottle. Now let's say I'm all better.

If I drink out of that same bottle, can I get sick again from my own germs?



Monday, March 05, 2007

***Upgraded Liar***

I didn't want to post about this. I REALLY didn't. It was choreful. Straight up. But I've gotten several emails and texts about Beyonce's two new videos. (As if I'm some sort of Beyonce Basher.) #1: Don't look at me crazy for not drooling over everything the chick does. #2: I don't look to criticize, some things are just there...like Wal-mart. To be honest, I'm tired of seeing and hearing about her. It's like all of media must suffer for her not winning any Dreamgirl awards, so she's showing up all over the place: Sports Illustrated, AskMen.com, and now has her "two new videos!".

So I looked.

And then I thought,
"If these people don't calm the hell down...
she is NOT getting blog time for this crap!"

But dammit, this is the f'ing 5th day of solicited opinion, so fine.

Like to hear it, here it goes...

"Upgrade You"


LOVE:
  • The gold dress with the dancers
  • that big ol' dookie plait in her head that she pets like it has reproductive organs.
  • the overall makeup job
  • how she kept playing off hitting her head in the trunk of that car (she got for her berrfday)
HATE:
  • everything else


"Beautiful Liar"

HATE:
  • How this video was a COMPLETE waste of a Shakira moment. They couldn't risk her getting upstaged, so they blended them? Whack! Can't you hear her ol' country azz saying "Shukerra, you know whut? We shood match each utha in dis video. Like tweyens!"
  • Those cheap azz curtain walls. Nothing screams low-budget like a quick "set change" with a bunch of fabric on a wall. Reminded me of a Milli-Vanilli or EnVogue video from the 90's.
  • That black evening gown she wore (although drenching it in water did help some)
  • The random purple neon light that channeled "stripper stage". All they needed was a pole.
  • How incredibly BORING this whole thing was.

LOVE:
  • Shakira

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Umbrella Ogling


I'm on the hunt for a kick-ass umbrella. A punchy plastic one or a bold nylon print is what I've always envisioned. One that would totally contrast a gloomy, rainy day. One that challenges the inclination to mope and live the day in begrudging undertones. I've seen several different umbrellas that, for reasons I can't explain, internally excite me. I notice that my heart beats faster. My eyes widen. And usually, attached with inner intrigue of its beauty, my lips part as my jaw muscles involuntary relax, leaving my mouth agape in awe.
Publicly smitten.


The ideal me has about 3 or 4 very cool umbrellas.


And since I can only be the person I am at this moment...



why not have my very first now?



Her umbrella was the only reason I watched the Heather Headley video "I Wish I Wasn't" several years ago. For me, the umbrella made the video. (The jacket was cute too)


Cool umbrellas in gloomy weather carry the same weight as a sincere unsolicited compliment--- you aren't looking for them but when they occur, they offer incredible warmth.


Friday, March 02, 2007

***The Happy Bunny Mix****

I've been in the lab concocting another mix CD. My inspiration? "Grace Kelly" by Mika. (Yes, Becky is all up in this one.) I realized that I had quite a few of these songs of happy melodies and fukked up lyrics. My mind has finally settled on the title:

The Happy Bunny Mix.
Coming to a mailbox near you!

(if I have your addy)


Thursday, March 01, 2007

No, I haven't turned my back on you.
I only blog when inspired.


Stay tuned:o)

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