Thursday, October 26, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Married to Being Single?
I don't believe in true love.
You know, the idea that one, single, solitary, individual was put on Earth just to lead you into a love fantasy that ends in "...and they lived happily ever after."
And as I watch you jump to the judgemental conclusion of "embittered cynic" like a game of hopscotch, I request that you continue reading.
What I presently believe (you can thank my father for this one) is that there are MANY compatibles roaming the Earth that could do just that. It's just a matter of timing and choice.
Brother Airbender and I were swapping ideas around this "The One" theory sometime last year.
His position was that it's an automatic: You meet them, you know, you put all else aside, settle down, commit, and marry.
My position was that you trial-and-error the thing until you've exhausted it, and once the dust settles, the last one standing must be it.
Then enters Papa Bear.
Me and Ricksss give each other that "Uh oh...here we go
" glance as he sits down and asks what we're talking about.
I give him the bullet points of the conversation, and he's like "Oh I see. Interesting."
In that, "Well..???
" tone, I asked him, "So what are your thoughts?"
That's when he broke it down like Fatman Scoop on a barstool. He shared that he thought that life has more than one "The Ones" floating around in it.
I was put off at first. Going off in my head like, "That's such a typical man-whore perspective."
But he continued...
"If, God-forbid, anything ever happened to your mother, and I wanted to re-marry, do you really think that there isn't any other woman out there I'm compatible with?"
Both us were like "Hmmmm...."
I don't know about Ricksss, but it made sense to me!
It all comes back to choice at the end of the day.
I could name a good 6 guys that I know right now who, in all honesty, I'm very compatible with. There's just no romantic interest. So for all of you "(quietly) concerned" folks out there, let me put your mind to rest: There's no need to worry about me (Mother!).
I don't aspire to "settle down" anytime soon because my Life (right now) doesn't dance to the backbeat of tick-tock-tick-tock.
Whatever happens just does.
Not resisting, not forcing...
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Yet another creative burst during some much needed homework time.
I got my mind right after I let out this brainfart:o)
Moral of the Story-
YSK: Just tell him girl! Poor guy has NO CLUE what he's in for, lol.
**IF YOU CAN'T READ IT: Click on the picture to enlarge it, and once it enlarges you can super-size it by placing your cursor in the lower right corner, and clicking the button that pops up.**
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
I think it’s time for my Young & Dumb tattoo.
You know, the one all my friends got way back in high school or college that they now regret?
That one.MY TURN!!!
I’ll christen 2007 with one. Not saying what, not saying where, can’t even really say why…
But it’s going down!
Me and someone from the bloodlines have already agreed to do it together.
We just have to set the January date.
No worries. Although, right now, I can’t guarantee that I won’t completely embarrass myself; I can guarantee that I’ll know for sure by the time of my midlife crisis:o)
And yes, I'll share my experience (if I don't punk out).
In other news…
I’m on a mission to be re-created as a super hero.
I decided on this while studying for the GMAT this weekend. I have realized that life is way too short to live an ordinary existence. So I’m getting an extraordinary makeover that will live forever in a .jpg file.
I’ve already come up with my superpowers and super weapons.
My signature move will be the “Larynx BOOM!” that will rupture the eardrum of any evil-doer, causing temporary hearing loss. My weapon of choice will be the “Choke-a-B***h Force-Field" that will block the air-passage of the trifling offender until he or she turns my favorite shade of plum.
Knight Rider had his car, Kit, to back him up. I will have my cell phone—(the Mighty Mighty) Super Pimp to give me the 411 on err’thang!
I’m wrestling with the idea of flying. Don’t know if I really wanna do that. And I learned from “The Incredibles” movie that capes are a no-no.
Hmmm…what'll be my mode of transportation? Maybe a flying car? YES!!! Benita the flying Benz. That’s it! A bullet-proof, nuclear-resistant, self-cleaning, Starbucks soy chai latte-s
erving, flying car.
Once I develop it fully, I just need to be drawn. And I better not look like no damn porn star either.
Speaking of pornstars...
Is it just me or do 98.75% of the female CNN anchors look the part of one? Smoky eyes for a morning/early afternoon broadcast?
But for real…
I’m still developing the concept of my super identity but by the end of the year, prepare to be AMAZED.
Hmmm...I'll need a kick ass, superhero nomenclature too.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Just in case you didn't know...
if you fart while seated in a booth or a bench of some type, everyone sharing that cushion knows you did it. Hopefully these people are reeeeally "nice" and will pretend that they didn't notice a thing.
Otherwise you might catch some "No you didn't just do that..."
eyes like I gave this random chick at lunch today.
She was tripping.
(Sorry. I was dying to get that out.)
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
That's the only thing that I can come up with to describe it.
And while in all honesty, I don't know what fish tacos really smell like, I know the way fish smells and I know how tacos smell. Those 2 ingredients coupled with a touch of human funk and a pinch of perfume. That's the best way I can describe my anonymous co-worker's odor.
"Everybody has an off day." is how I excused it the first time I noticed. But her isht is like Bad Boy Records "Can't Stop, Won't Stop"
and its KILLING ME! On my word, I can smell her with my back turned. I feel like my nostrils are losing a game of slapboxing that they didn't ask to play.
And until this morning, I just thought this was a feminine whoa. No sir! The oral hygiene needs to come up about 8 points for real. It's bad enough that you're killing us softly with the fish tacos but now you want our nose hairs to fall out from the dragon breath??? Not cool, mama.
That just ain't right.
Being fair, maybe she has a problem that's more health-related and less menacing to society?
And she's a cool person too.
Febreeze should consider expanding into perfume and breath mint business.
Maybe even the feminine hygiene industry.
Or maybe they can create the first ever "Butt Mints". Hey, that's a pretty good idea!Butt Mints: Closing the Gap on the Odor of Your Crack.
(Damn, I'm smart!)
Wow, who knew?
Febreeze has legs. I should invest.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Only White People Kiss in the Rain
(I think this would be a cool book title, don't you?)
Only White People Kiss in the Rain:
A cynical black woman's view on romance
(No, I'm not interested in writing it. No, I'm not cynical about romance. No, I'm not lying about either one of these statements.)
I've only seen it once and it was in a movie. One movie. Love Jones. Nia Long had a perm too. And yet she stood there, in the rain, kissing Lorenz Tate. That scene might have made the movie for me. Although I honestly didn't appreciate it until this week, right now it's a dope concept to me.
Black people kissing in the rain.
Why can't I picture this? Hell, I'm not even trying to experience it, but it's one of those "I wonder why..." things for me right now. Why don't Black people kiss in the rain? Do Asian people do it? Latinos? Middle Eastern folks?
Who does that shit other than White people???
You know what? Now that I think about it, Love Jones had a couple of Caucasion elements that were Blackified on the sneak tip. All white love movies have a train scene. And all white love movies have a kissing in the rain scene.
(Speaking of which, have you seen 'The Notebook'? OMG, I have never cried in that snot& sniffling way over a movie like that before. That thing will MESS YOU UP if you aren't careful! Anyhoo....I digress.)
If I made movies, and I was gonna make a Black love one, I'd set it up to where a kissing in the rain scene would be TOO perfect. And just when the audience was ready for things to go down, I'd have the female lead say, "Ummm...can we go inside? I smell rain and my hair..."
LOL! I'd love
to aggravate the hell outta people with that, lol!
I know, I know.
Natural hair doesn't work for everyone. But still...
That's the only reason I can come up with why Black people don't kiss in the rain--- the Black woman's hair. Nia Long did it. It's possible.
You know, I think I've discovered the true test of a permed Black woman's love: a willingness to get her hair wet (in the name of it).