Saturday, September 17, 2011


Remember that scene in "The Color Purple" movie, where teenage Celie is creeping around the mean White man's store stalking baby Olivia with her new Mommy (the preacher's wife) like a slave on the Underground Railroad??? 
                                             (wait...that doesn't make sense...anyway...)

I found myself doing that at Bloomingdale's yesterday!

Once again, I have given my heart to an inanimate object that I couldn't afford in Afterlife.  She is BEAUTIFUL! She is EXOTIC! She also doesn't go with ANYTHING I own (its mustard yellow ostrich leather with olive green accents).

Ladies and gents, I introduce to you, the DVF Harper Connect Leather Daybag:



With a HUGE tassel that makes life worth living!

I've had mental fantasies about this beautiful Diane Von Furstenberg bag for days now.  I loved the design alone but when I found out that the back of the purse unsnaps to reveal a holder for your iPad, everything went to a new level of emotional attachment. I don't even have an iPad!

So you can imagine how my heart sank when I saw this chick pick up my purse and take it with her to another section.  I followed that heifer like a FBI agent! When I caught myself peering around a pillar (as did this kid in a stroller), I thought to myself "This is how Celie felt in that store!" Only, the purse (technically) wasn't mine, and the little baby staring at me (technically) isn't a racist store owner.


Thursday, September 15, 2011

Louis Vuitton is that Black Crack

Black people are ruining Louis Vuitton for me.

I am so irritated by the amount of LV goods I come across on a daily basis.  In some instances (like living in NYC/NJ) public transportation is not a sign of low-income.  But in many cases (like living in NYC/NJ) some forms of public transportation are definitely a sign of low-income.  I am a part of the latter, so when I see a chick getting on the bus with a Louis Vuitton in her left hand, and a bus pass in her right, I involuntarily roll my eyes.

If you have a bus pass, a bad perm, or crusty-looking kids, I need for you to get your priorities in order.  I don't care if its real, fake, or stolen I don't want to see Louis Vuitton on the bus or on the train.  All you chicks who do that look stupid as hell.  I don't want to see it in the arms of someone with ashy ankles, many designer labels and no style wearing sunglasses inside with no savings account.  I am over all of you.

And I know what some of you think that I honestly don't understand that luxury goods are aspirational for low and middle income people.  You think that I don't know that in a life where many trappings are denied or clearly out of reach, its one of the few things to make the have-nots feel like they have.

Save the speech.

I (still) don't give a damn.

I am also very grateful that, other than Kanye West, LV doesn't use Black people in their advertisements.  (Thank you!)  I don't even want to think about what dumb shit I'd witness if they actually encouraged this.

Here's my opinion: If you carry a Louis Vuitton bag, you better not carry any debt (and have an appreciating asset or two!).  Like ANY.  You better not owe June Bug, Cousin ReRe, or Uncle Sam. And if it was a gift, the person that got it for you better be debt-free too! Like NO DEBT.

Several of you are going to feel the need to play Devil's advocate in defense of something or someone after you read this.  I promise you, you will change nothing over here.  This has built up over the years and I have hit a breaking point.  I care nothing for theoretical scenarios, political correctness, and cultural sensitivity.  This shit needs to stop.  Go to Nine West and call it a day.   

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