Monday, September 18, 2006

Skank-o-Meter





"I can sense the stupid ho in others."

I just said this about, oh, 2 hours ago to someone.

Granted, had I said this in jest I wouldn't bother to share it with you. But I was dead azz serious. I truly believe that I have the gift of Skank Reception. I can pick them out from great distances. I can detect the stage of skank that one is currently in. I can even predict future skanks of America.

As of August 2006, I've decided to use these powers for good.

I will reach beyond the bloodlines and protect the Good Guy homies of my circle. Not all of you. Some of you are straight up man-whores and jerks, but I've always loved and accepted that about you:o)
*wink*

But for the others, I'm here for you.

I need to be.

There are just too many of them running around. And you get so googly-eyed that you can't see the skank for the hills. You get lost in her beauty, booty, and charm that you get caught up unknowingly. Most of yall can't even read a psycho tank properly anyway. (FYI: All women have them by default. Some larger than others. Some definitely well-hidden. But EVERY LAST ONE OF US has one) You don't see the early warning signs and then you feel helpless when you've got a chick showing up at your crib and/or church UNANNOUNCED, threatening to fight your REAL girlfriend, and crying to you on the phone about how she "deserves more out of this relationship."

And all you said was "I'll call you."

Align Center
For those on my hometeam, feel free to utilize my services via my direct line.

All others, please dial 1-800-THATS WHAT YO DUMB AZZ GETS

Thank you.


Thursday, September 14, 2006

Fool In Love

I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship that I can't seem to walk away from.

I just never thought I would be "that girl" who gets Ike Turner'd. The one you hear about, shake your head and say "That's messed up."

The guy is much younger than me. He doesn't have a job, doesn't have a high school education, isn't very articulate, and is CRAZY short. He used to be the sweetest thing known, but has become quite tempermental over the past year or two. At times, he thinks nothing about humiliating me in public or even in front of my family. He yells at me belligerently and smacks me around whenever I don't operate on his time. He's even bitten me before.

It's embarrassing but, despite these violent acts, I'm obsessed with him.

What can I say? I love him.

It shouldn't matter that he's 2 years old.


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Nothing Left Unsaid

"... (in which) nothing is left unsaid."

I heard this yesterday morning and it still gives me spine tingles. It was said by someone leading an introduction when he was describing his relationship with his fiancee. He spends 80% of his time in Africa, she lives in Seattle, they've dated for like 4 years (they met in the States), and recently got engaged. The wow factor was quite obvious. Just as obvious as how connected and in love these people were.

HOW??

Basically, homeboy has a handle on the genuity of "relationship". Our handle includes a lot of tangibles, right? Being there, time spent, joy-riding, yadi yadi yah....

But his handle is about one thing: communication. Having a relationship with another person where every interactive moment is based in integrity, and infused with fearless communication. If you really look at it, you can't get much more intimate than that.

And I know he was speaking in a romantic context, but my excitement grew outside of that.

What if I could have that with family and friends?????

Seriously...

what if we (you and I) created our relationship (whatever it is and however it exists) into one where within our communication, NOTHING IS LEFT UNSAID.

Wow. That blows my mind just thinking about it. There's a lot of freedom in that. A lot of freedom that "being appropriate" won't afford you. When "being nice" is a conscious effort instead of a natural way of being.

Loving someone (philos or eros) cooks up the desire to care about them, but being connected to them allows you to express it.

And you know what? It's going to take some serious effort and courage on my end to create this relationship with you. Because when I mean getting to a point where nothing is left unsaid, I'm not just talking about shared opinions. Cause there are a lot of things I haven't said to a lot of you for different reasons. Either I didn't want to risk being misinterpretted, being uncomfortable, looking a certain way (to myself and you), or being offensive.

But there's something to say.

I'm sure if you challenged yourself to look, you would see the very same thing.

And that's what so great about this thing! We don't have to look good for each other. I get to be me and you get to be you, and we get to celebrate each other (amidst our differences). We are free to leave our representatives alone for once. And it be absolutey PERFECT to be nervous, happy, vulnerable, strong, rejected, weak, intimidated, and just downright depressed.

But just so you know, I'm going to stand in my position that you get everything you want out of life. Dammit, I want you to have it!

I wanna do this!!!

You down?


P.S. Happy Birthday, Nana!

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