Thursday, January 14, 2010

*** Give Us the GAME!***

For quite a few years now, I have unconsciously held the notion that there is a secret society of White people who have the winning formulas for all things of sustainable importance on lock.

(I still quietly believe it,
I'm just conscious of it now.)
To me, many of them do things "the right way". Hell, they're the ones who got to decide what was normal/moral/just anyway. (Note: I did not say ALL. I shop at Walmart too and share aisles with many of their downfalls.) They know how to make it do what it do when it comes to important things (keep in mind "important" is completely subjective to my swirly mind). Right now, "important" to me is career, business, money and education. I have a suspiscion that they are being super stingy and unless folks of color grew up rubbing elbows with them, we're left to figure that isht out on our own.

That is all for now....

just know that I'm watching.
(...with blatant suspicion and hostility.)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Junkie Tales


Happy 2010!

Okay I'm a couple weeks late but it's still fun to say,
so cheers until I get tired of it:-)

So much has happened. So many insights in such a small quantity of time. And I'm not going through them in great detail but here are some bullet points:
  • Moving up north for new opportunities (Fashion Week and NY cheese pizza here I come!)
  • Business is incorporated (Uncle Sam is officially on the "Stacks Watch" list)
  • Got a B in my first MBA class (Oddly, I feel sort of adult. In that informed, scary 401k/retirement plan way. Blame CNBC and Fox Business...I sure as hell do.)
  • Finally reached "Over it!" and couldn't be happier
  • All this while rubbing pennies together in an economic recession! (Sexy!)
2010 is going to be a hot one!
I can smell the grease burning!

(Now, let's talk about why I REALLY blogged...)


Today I felt like pretty much any Black music artist on the decline from the 40's-70's-- I needed a hit. I needed a hit BAD. And I'm not talking about the Billboard charts either. I mean the kind that makes folks drop lap dogs out of windows. M&Ms, Twix, Snickers, Kit Kat, Reese's, SOMETHING. I'm in the process of putting my addiction to junk food in check and I'm having the shakes.

In loving support of the habit, someone actually placed a piece of high-end chocolate in the palm of my quivering hand. It was such a pretty gold wrapper. Creased perfectly for a pleasure opening---just like when Charlie found the golden ticket. I folded back one of the lips and just smelled it. I sniffed and smiled, sniffed and smiled again until I felt eyeballs observing I was enjoying myself a little too much. I gave it away. Resentfully.

So here I am at 12:18am still thinking about that shiny chocolate square that smelled like delish. Remorseful. Longing. Really annoyed that I'm that addicted junk food. I quit meat many moons ago cold turkey. But this is different.

No... not really. This isn't different at all.
Same initial tortured soul experience.

Fat Girl is scheduled to arrive in about a week and she doesn't handle restrictions well. That and she's really mean and bossy. I don't know if I can make it...

It may not be worth the battle scars.



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