Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Married to Being Single?

I don't believe in true love.

You know, the idea that one, single, solitary, individual was put on Earth just to lead you into a love fantasy that ends in "...and they lived happily ever after."


And as I watch you jump to the judgemental conclusion of "embittered cynic" like a game of hopscotch, I request that you continue reading.

What I presently believe (you can thank my father for this one) is that there are MANY compatibles roaming the Earth that could do just that. It's just a matter of timing and choice.

Brother Airbender and I were swapping ideas around this "The One" theory sometime last year.
His position was that it's an automatic: You meet them, you know, you put all else aside, settle down, commit, and marry.

My position was that you trial-and-error the thing until you've exhausted it, and once the dust settles, the last one standing must be it.

Then enters Papa Bear.

Me and Ricksss give each other that "Uh oh...here we go" glance as he sits down and asks what we're talking about.

I give him the bullet points of the conversation, and he's like "Oh I see. Interesting."

In that, "Well..???" tone, I asked him, "So what are your thoughts?"

That's when he broke it down like Fatman Scoop on a barstool. He shared that he thought that life has more than one "The Ones" floating around in it.

I was put off at first. Going off in my head like, "That's such a typical man-whore perspective."

But he continued...

"If, God-forbid, anything ever happened to your mother, and I wanted to re-marry, do you really think that there isn't any other woman out there I'm compatible with?"

Both us were like "Hmmmm...."

I don't know about Ricksss, but it made sense to me!

It all comes back to choice at the end of the day.

I could name a good 6 guys that I know right now who, in all honesty, I'm very compatible with. There's just no romantic interest. So for all of you "(quietly) concerned" folks out there, let me put your mind to rest: There's no need to worry about me (Mother!).

I don't aspire to "settle down" anytime soon because my Life (right now) doesn't dance to the backbeat of tick-tock-tick-tock.
Whatever happens just does.
Not resisting, not forcing...
Just floating.

I agree that there are many "The Ones" out there...I think for some reason we forget that and get caught up in the moment. What a lovely reminder that it ia about timing and choice....I TOTALLY agree with that.
well float on...
Is being compatible with someone make them "The One"? Cause if you're compatible but you're not really feeling them all that much then they don't really count then right? I don't know how I feel about the whole topic. While I'm not terribly influenced by the theory of soulmate, I do believe that we find many people that "could work" and sometimes we choose them and sometimes we don't. I think it is rare to find the one that gratifies you in more ways than you thought possible. So those rarities could be few and far in between out there or perhaps there really is that special person that can really do it for you.
"Float On" by the Isley Borthers will be in my head for at least a week, lol
CYT: Thx:o) Kills a lot of the unnecessary anxiety, right? (lol)

CB: Floating!

Alex G: *singing* "Do you want to float on, yeah..."
Anonymous: Great point!

I'm not equating "The One" to a "Soulmate". You know, I still don't know what a soulmate is so that's why I stay away from using the term. However, the way I've come to understand is that "The One" is this off-the-charts emotional, physical, spiritual, sexual, intellectual, humor, (etc.) compatibile other. So yeah, if you're compatible on levels like that it's quite possible to "feel them all that much".

How else does one get romantically involved with another without compatibility?

Yes, I agree that there's a variance in the degree of it (and even happiness!). But I think that the 90% you have with Person X could be experienced with a Person Y in another way that's just as intense.

Everyone thinks their first love is just IT, right? That's all well and good until you fall in love a second time.

I don't think the phenomenon is as rare as it is special. It's a highly valuable experience. Only I think we cut ourselves out of a lot of it with our standards and ideals.
I hear that!
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