Sunday, June 04, 2006

Too Fine To Do Time

Back in the days of my young, superficial, immaturity.......

(shut up)

it REALLY used to bother me when rich people weren't attractive. I don't know why. I guess I figured that if you're worth that much you could buy a new face and body. But then again, being worth so much money could also be used as a silent eff' u.

I would get just as unsettled when I'd see couples that weren't aesthetically balanced AT ALL.

Since then, I've totally matured.

Now, I'm only upset by FINE CRIMINALS.

Man o man...

As a retired Court TV junkie, you could say that I've been around the profiler block a few times. The mugshot of the criminals would come up and I'd think "Yep, you look like a damn pedophile." or "She didn't know? He LOOKS like a rapist." or "Unh huh, psycho woman. Definitely has that 'kill with a hatchet' look."

I mean if you watch enough television and movies, you get the gist of what a "bad guy" looks like. They just have that "dun dun DUNNN!" look to them. Especially in those mugshots when they are just pissed off anyway.

But what happens when the criminals look like they could have gotten your number???


Case and point: Brian Nichols.

WHO THE HELL TOLD HIM TO BE ATTRACTIVE ??????


I was mad when I saw this picture. First off, when he was on the loose, my mom (rightfully so) was blowing up my cell to make sure I was on my way to somewhere safe. Weighing the likelihood of me getting killed by this dude vs. me (benefiting from the widespread panic and) standing in shorter lines at the mall, I decided to carry on with my Christmas shopping.

But when I saw his cute, deadly 'self on the news I couldn't help myself...

"HE did it????" I kept saying over and over again. "But HE could have been someone's Friday date!"

What a waste of good genes.

Granted, he might have been a man-whore before he was a criminal, but at least female whores could participate.

Now look at him.

What good is he to anyone in jail????



I hate it when that happens.

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