Monday, November 20, 2006

The Forehead Vein

It was during my sophomore year when I discovered them: a collective grouping of faint spots under each eye. Wow...I have freckles? Since WHEN?, I thought. So after a little internal deliberation, I decide that freckles are fly and it's an upgrade.


Because every freckled female that came to mind was highly respected and influential in my life.

Even in modern times...
Lucy Liu is quite fly...

No one can deny Tamia's dope factor...
No one.

So I'm in the mirror trying to figure out how they got there. Can stuff like this just APPEAR like that? Is this genetic? Pops has 'em. His dad has 'em. His sister does too. So then that's what I settled on...genetics. And I decide that this is dope because I have a distinguishing new thing that's all mine.

Very United Colors of Benetton.

Just fly.

So anyway...

fast forward to the present year...

around mid-summer...

I'm in the bathroom at the sink, doing my daily blemish check when I noticed the Summuva.

"What in the Hades..." I said outloud as I leaned in to further examine yet another visagal upset.

But there it was. As obvious as cubic zirconium. Right there, smacked on the left side of my face, above my eyebrow...

A forehead vein.

I couldn't ameliorate the thoughts about this one. Veins aren't cute. Especially on women. And I had already collected my fair share from my feminine-resisting, "But I don't wanna be a girl!", athletic days.
Now I've got 'em on my FACE???

Then I think of veiny people...
(you have to click the pics to enlarge them)

There was the "Alright":
And there was the "Aww, HELL NAW!"

So then I'm upset. Is there a cream I can buy?? A facial massage I can get?


If there is, I have yet to discover it.
So if you, or anyone you know, have any helpful information on the following,
please dial 1-800-Vain and Veiny.

I'm trying to keep my options open until my 40's.

**PLEASE NOTE: I no longer accept paper bags as a valid option. They do not support my oxygen flow.

Julia Roberts has a giant vein right down the middle of her forehead. I think you should embrace it.
I FORGOT ABOUT HER!! Yes, you are sooo right about that! But one must ask, where is Julia NOW? That forehead vein might've forced her into early retirement...

or not:o)

You're right. I should embrace it.

I just CAN'T at the moment.

I'll keep trying, lol.
Julia's forehead vein did not force her into early retirement. On the contrary, I believe it is the forehead vein that got her an Oscar. Whenever the forehead vein appears (it is, of course, more prominent at certain times) I always think, "wow, Julia's really got something going on in that head of hers." I believe the academy voters felt similarly.

So it's a sign of something?

Niiiiice. I like that:o) Like the Bat Signal! I just have to figure out something cool. Maybe I should tie it into my superhero identity...

You know what?

I think you honestly just helped me embrace it for real, lol.

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