E-RANTS AND INSIGHTS

1. All the Martha Stewarts of America that pour their hearts and souls into making a wonderful annual feast (because I won't. And if I had to, my family would have cereal and PB&J. I might scramble an egg or two if I'm feeling like showing off.)

2. The dear, sweet children in my life that I love with all my heart (because every last one of them comes with a 100% no-questions-asked, return policy)

3. Apathy. There are times when it's pure bliss to be emotionally undaunted by...well, anything.

4. Gluttony. Without it, I'm not sure if I could truly appreciate the discipline that shows up every now and then.

5. Napolean Dynomite. A reminder that all losers are really winners in another world. I mean the guy took out wolverines with a 12-gauge shotgun, lol.

6. Target. A place where dreams are made, impulses are tested, sales are good, and the environment alone awakens your inner narcissistic shopping demon. Forcing you to engage in full-out battle until the checkout line.

7. Good looking men who use nothing but Irish Spring soap. I don't know what it is, but I LOVE IT!!

8. Microdermabrasion facials. Nothing gets your skin back right faster and more effectively. Especially when you've been neglegent for 3 seasons.

9. Fukked up things and people. They (We) give balance to the world. Providing self-esteem shots to those who (think they) are not, and perspective for those in limbo (who don't want to admit it).

10. (Tie) Canon's Powershot A630 digital camera and Photoshop CS. I have neither but they inspire me to make moves. So that one day I can marry the two in my possession and experience their full potential.

11. A job that doesn't require working with child actors in any capacity. I don't like miniature adults. (Little people/dwarfs/midgets get a pass)