E-RANTS AND INSIGHTS

But the part involving the kids?? That got me. I started choking up. My sister was a part of a study like that on ABC when she was in pre-school. She chose the white doll too.

It really makes me sad to know that these children share the same views as people my age and older. We hate our hair. We hate our skin. We hate our ignorance. We hate our state of being. We make it "okay" by doing things to it to make it more acceptable to others, but at the end of the day, icing on top of mud doesn't make cake.

I really, really hate this. I remember the different things people would say to me as I altered my physical presentation throughout the years. When I grew out my perm in '97, you would've thought I was a leper. I'd hear stuff like "Ooh girl, you need Jesus!" (That's Southern ignorant speak for "Your hair needs to be saved...no lye!") Naturally, the same heifers tried to do what I did a whole semester later. But I'd get the same crap from guys and teachers too. My parents weren't even really feeling it. Especially my father.

I don't know what it is about men and hair, but they almost require cardiopulmonary resuscitation if you change it up on them. Ya'll know how I tell you about how my Life becomes red carpet status when my hair is straightened. For those who don't, I straighten my hair every 3 months or so to get it trimmed. I refer to these moments as my "face lift" to a few of you because that's what it feels like sometimes.

ESPECIALLY in college. Lawd, the men came OUT when I got a press! Some of them honestly related to me as if I was someone new. Like I didn't know them or we didn't have class together, or I knew nothing about their man-whore ways. It was ridiculous!

But you know what? (And I'll probably never forget this.) The ONLY person who didn't give me the thumbs up was one of my best guy friends there--- a white guy. I had gotten so much buzz all morning about my hair, when I met him at our usual spot, I was totally prepared for more the same. He said nothing.


I grinned from ear to ear. He actually preferred me as my natural bummy self. I don't think I ever felt so embraced before without physical contact.

After that moment, I realized that this idealism is no longer just about White supremacy. It's almost 2007 and with all the progress made thus far, WE still think this way. White people had their thoughts about Hip-Hop but that didn't change it. WE changed it. I really just want us to own our identity as self-created and stop buying into all this Black Righteous crap, or this self-depreciating idealism.

You can't blame White people anymore. It's us. Those are OUR kids choosing the White doll over the Black one, and there's no White nanny at home raising them.