Monday, December 11, 2006


Do you know how hunters in South Africa catch monkeys?

They place a single banana right at the door inside of the cage. The monkey comes along, sees the banana, decides he/she wants the banana, approaches the cage, reaches in and grabs the banana. But little does the monkey know that the door to the cage was made to fit his/her hand--- not the banana. In trying to leave, the monkey will stay there for minutes trying to bring the banana through the narrow door and before he/she knows it they're CAUGHT!

Did the monkey have the banana?
Or did the banana have the monkey?

I made this entry much harder than it had to be by posting what I did earlier. This weekend, I really got something very huge. I no longer had my view of the tip of the iceberg being the whole enchiladas. Seeing what lied beneath the surface was embarrassing, absurd, and extremely freeing.

I'm participating in a 7-month leadership program that ends on March 30th. In this program, the participants are given "coaches" who do just that. My coach asked me this weekend about my appearance. Knowing that I do image consulting, she asked "Why is it that you have such great ideas for everyone else's appearance but you come as Plain Jane?" Of course, I initially went on the defense but once chilled out, I looked at what she was saying and not what I thought she meant. She was right. I intentionally present myself juuuust below the radar. That's when I got to phase one of a whole bunch of declarations that I quietly believed to be true.

Belief #1: Beauty is manipulative. I actually saw beauty as evil because of my past experience of it. Like I said before, I've always been able to be friends with guys. And just about every valuable friendship I had with a guy was ruined by a "Pretty girl". We just never seemed to be able to co-exist and I'd always get the boot. Or so I felt. Even now, its hard for me to see attractive people (women especially) as having earned whatever they have. In my mind, some way some how Life was made just a liiiittle easier for them.

Belief #2: If you never call me great/smart/attractive/etc., then I can never NOT be great/smart/attractive/etc. And this is why I would get so uncomfortable with compliments and acknowledgement. If you see me as such, then...(see #3)

Belief #3: Somewhere down the line, I'm going to disappoint you. I don't have the consistency to maintain people's compliments because to me they were expectations. If you were to compliment me for anything, I'd have a twinge of nervousness all because I felt like I now had to uphold your concept of me. Bottom line thinking? It's not really there anyway---you just caught me at a good moment.

Crazy right?

When I really got to see the foolishness that I held onto THIS WHOLE time I was just dumbfounded. I never consciously said any of this to myself but it was definitely running the show in the background. Who knew?

Well I do now.
And now that I do, I have a certain power that I didn't possess before holding onto those three bananas.

What banana has you?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

by Marianne Williamson
Oh wow, thanks. I forgot all about that. I always thought Nelson Mandela said that. Good thing I know because I was never comfortable with the idea of him saying "fabulous".

Thanks again!
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?