Tuesday, January 30, 2007

***Black History Month***


Black History Month is coming!
Black History Month is coming!

Now I know you're probably thinking,
"Why in the hell did she just say that?"
I'll tell you why.

Because Black History Month can be a weapon of mass destruction if used improperly. Black History Month can fukk you up if you aren't careful. This is a time where elementary schools teach all the wee folk about Jim Crow, segregation, Brown vs. the Board of Ed, Rosa Parks, MLK, Malcom X, Shirley Chisholm, Jesse Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, and Michael Jordan (or maybe its just GA?). They're all taught to respect and admire these people for their benchmark successes and national contributions.


They also could foster subtle (or overt) bigoted positions against White people. As a child, if you never understood why Uncle Leroy always got so angry at the family cookouts whenever race became a topic, you got reeeally clear during Black History Month. Case and point: Last year, my then 5-year old goddaughter had the following conversation with her father while saying her bedtime prayers.

Kayla Poo: God bless Mommy, Daddy.......(etc. etc.).....and the White people too.
Her Dad: (interrupts her) Why did you say that??? God doesn't separate people, He loves EVERYONE!
Kayla Poo: But Daddy! The White people killed Martin Luther King!
(See what I'm saying?)

But the funny part is how all of the Black leaders surface with their shiny shoes and meditative expressions. And all of the Jackson-Sharpton-Rainbow-Civil-Farrakhan-Black People Need to RISE UP!-NAACP- Let My People Go- We Shall Overcome- Keep the Dream Alive- No Justice No Peace- Free OJ- Fight the Power-Reparations NOW!-the Revolution Will Not Be Televised- oppressed Black minds of America (who still see the world through a lens called the 1940's/50's/60's) rally behind them, chanting and praying militantly, supporting the tail-chasing.

All of the "Black leaders" of the past 10 years need to be reviewed. This should be an annual thing and they should post the review on the internet at www.whatidonedid.com. That way, we can see what has all been accomplished other than perpetual "Blackness". What bills were passed in favor of Black people? What laws did you help change and what was your role in that? How have you advanced the quality of life for Black Americans? How much money do you make? How much money have you given to charity and which charities did you donate to? How many speeches were you invited to give? How many times have you been arrested (protesting or not)? What CDs did you buy this year? What are your Top 5 accomplishments of the past year? Can you understand and re-create the sentiments of each generation? On a scale of 1-10, how much do you embarrass your mother/wife/children/family?

Once the probe is completed, everyone should be allowed to pick up their chains, grills, basketballs, baseball bats, footballs, microphones, turntables, pimp cups, Manolo Blahniks, lacefronts, iced-out whatevers, and proceed to the conference room where the meeting of the minds will ensue.

Black History Month is a time when McDonald's acts like your best friend and all of old school heads talk about how f'd up Black people are today. The young bucks roll their eyes and turn up their iPods, and the baby boomers get reeeal quiet (cuz they know a lot of it is their mess). A generational divide on display at its best.

Black History Month needs a makeover.

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