Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Quit Lying!
I'm convinced that 83.7% of the world runs on 2 specific fuels:
Hope and Lies.
(You're either lying to create hope, or hoping something isn't a lie)
I'm going to focus on the latter because after watching "I Love NY" last night, I just have to.
Of course I expected to be entertained by this guilty pleasure the same way I was by Flava of Love's Season One (I missed Season 2), Being Bobby Brown, Surreal Life, The Osbournes, and any other celeb-reality show I came across.
But DAMMIT...
I held my head in disbelief after the 3rd commercial break:
These clowns are SERIOUS!
Some lying thirsty heiffas went and told these dudes that they were that hotness.
And each new lie told solidified the old,
cuz how in the hot ass Hades HELL is a cock-eyed guy ("T-Bone") gonna say (in all sincerity)
"Lemme take off my shades so you can look into my eyes...the ladies say I have dreamy eyes."
WHAT!?!?
Homie, are you SERIOUS????
But it doesn't stop on Vh1 either...
American Idol???
For me, it stops getting good after the 1st two episodes. I don't care about TALENT.
I wanna see the folks who aren't but REALLY THINK THEY ARE!
And they do! They really, truly, whole-heartedly DO!
There are PLENTY of things that I like to do that I just flat out suck at. Tennis is one. Billiards is another. Scrabble...singing...you get my point.
But am I stupid enough to enter a tournament and really expect to WIN???
Tell 'em Whitney:
(You're either lying to create hope, or hoping something isn't a lie)
I'm going to focus on the latter because after watching "I Love NY" last night, I just have to.
Of course I expected to be entertained by this guilty pleasure the same way I was by Flava of Love's Season One (I missed Season 2), Being Bobby Brown, Surreal Life, The Osbournes, and any other celeb-reality show I came across.But DAMMIT...
I held my head in disbelief after the 3rd commercial break:
These clowns are SERIOUS!
Some lying thirsty heiffas went and told these dudes that they were that hotness.
And each new lie told solidified the old,
cuz how in the hot ass Hades HELL is a cock-eyed guy ("T-Bone") gonna say (in all sincerity)
"Lemme take off my shades so you can look into my eyes...the ladies say I have dreamy eyes."
WHAT!?!?
Homie, are you SERIOUS????
But it doesn't stop on Vh1 either...
American Idol???
For me, it stops getting good after the 1st two episodes. I don't care about TALENT.
I wanna see the folks who aren't but REALLY THINK THEY ARE!
And they do! They really, truly, whole-heartedly DO!
There are PLENTY of things that I like to do that I just flat out suck at. Tennis is one. Billiards is another. Scrabble...singing...you get my point.
But am I stupid enough to enter a tournament and really expect to WIN???
Tell 'em Whitney:
And I know what some of ya'll are gonna say.
"How are you gonna bring somebody down like that? SOMEBODY might like it/him or her."
This is true.
However, the person probably asked YOU what YOU thought and YOU answered on behalf of the IMAGINARY PERSON you created.
Fukk that.
When you reach a point of delirium where you will embarrass you and everyone on your Hometeam (that claims to know you) on NATIONAL TELEVISON with great enthusiasm perpetuating one of the many lies you were told the day you got here,
THAT SHIT IS A PROBLEM.
And the problem is this:
You have no friends.
The end.
"How are you gonna bring somebody down like that? SOMEBODY might like it/him or her."
This is true.
However, the person probably asked YOU what YOU thought and YOU answered on behalf of the IMAGINARY PERSON you created.
Fukk that.
When you reach a point of delirium where you will embarrass you and everyone on your Hometeam (that claims to know you) on NATIONAL TELEVISON with great enthusiasm perpetuating one of the many lies you were told the day you got here,
THAT SHIT IS A PROBLEM.
And the problem is this:
You have no friends.
The end.
