Tuesday, January 16, 2007

WWW (Whack White Women)

I'm not big on white women (in general). It's not that I dislike them, I'm just not a fan.

Like grape juice.
I'll drink it if nothing else is available but I'm not excited about it.
I'd much rather have cran-apple.

I created the WWW theory during my first corporate experience back in 2004 when I realized that no matter where they were or how old they are, all White women pretty much suck by default. A lot of them mean well and they really can't help their whack ways. However, in general, White women bring no social value to (my) life. They aren't funny, they aren't cool, and they definitely aren't conversationally enjoiable either.

They simply aren't fun people to me.

Now there are exceptions to this rule.

In my life, I've experienced a total of about 8.
And only 2 of them are my age (shout out to Stoic Kristen!)

One of them I've never met, but she's one of the few that genuinely crack me up:

I don't know if her show still comes on, but Chelsea Handler puts a pretty huge dent in the WWW theory.

(Persh says the only reason that I like her so much is because I act like that. I disagree.)

Clearly, this is a matter of exposure and experience. I'm sure that many of you will claim to know "plenty" of White women who are not WWWs. I say define "plenty" and PROVE IT!

Unless you're a token minority in an uber Caucasion area, I'm very confident that you can't. Please understand, I'm not saying that White women aren't "nice". White women are the creators of "nice"---it's one of their greatest weapons. (In my opinion, this alone always explained why other races are attracted to them.)

There are many White women who I "like" but we don't really "click", feel me? A lot of them are very easy to be around. But do they bring any VALUE? Would you wanna hang out with them? If you two never spoke while occupying the same area for an entire day, would you give a shit? Do you look forward to any type of exchange with them whatsoever?

A co-worker of mine, Wholes, is yet another exception to the WWW theory. Wholes is probably the first White woman I ever met that could probably finish my sentences. (Oh trust, that isht was weird to me too.) At work, the same people get on our nerves for the same damn reasons. We're usually riding the same brainwave, so it doesn't take a lot of explaining to understand each other. And funny? OMG, this chick is HILLARIOUS! It's very subtle at times, so if yo
u aren't listening you might miss it. She's great. One of my first real-life, my age, life-contributing, non-WWW.

So it is possible.

They are just a rare, microscopic demographic.

***Disclaimer: There are very large populations of whack Black women and whack White men as well, however, these two groups seem to have nice-sized counter populations.

Thanks for the shout-out, but you know I have to say something about the WWWs. If you didn’t know me, I’m sure I’d be lumped in that category anyway.

1. Paris Hilton. Seriously? She is a sub-species. Or maybe even a separate species entirely. Either way, she is not representative of white women, or any women, anywhere.
2. Blondes. Why are the majority of the images you chose to represent white women blonde?
3. Niceness = fake. I don’t like when people operate behind a veneer of niceness. Have you seen Mean Girls? Nice to your face and then mean behind your back. Or at least hiding something not-so-nice beneath the surface. I’ve been thinking about why this is what sticks out to you about white women. I don’t think it is just about perception, I think that you have identified a reality. Maybe some people just put up a wall of niceness when they think they cannot relate to someone or as a premature defense mechanism.
4. The images you use to represent white women look like people-pleasers. The “I have to look and act perfectly in order to be loved” people. That’s not all white women. Rosie O'Donnell comes to mind.
5. Chelsea Handler is really funny.
6. Ok, here is my lame response that I hid all the way down in # 6. Not all white girls are the same. I swear!! This is not about lack of exposure – we both know where you went to college. I really think it is a lack of effort, on both sides. Maybe some white women (particularly those lacking self-confidence) are afraid/intimidated by black women so they behave “nicely” so as to not ruffle any feathers.
7. Many funny white women exist.
8. You’ve found 8 exceptions to the rule. If I click with 8 people, I’m psyched.
You're so great:o) I was hoping you would respond! Of course I'd lump you with the rest of them if I didn't know you-- that's the art of generalization!

1. Point taken, lol.
2. I noticed that too. When I started looking for pics, brunettes didn't always sell me on "unquestionable White". I kept wondering, "What if they're Latina? Or Italian? Or bi-racial?" Of course, they can be blonde too. I just rather go the most linear route.
3. Amen! Yep, I saw Mean Girls and I totally agree with you. Have you seen White Chicks? Hey, we're two for two so far!
4. That pic of the group of girls didn't look like people-pleasers, did they? But looking at it again, it reads as if they were supposed to represent the non-WWWs--- they don't. Oddly enough, I don't consider Rosie as White. She's more "Liberal Lesbian". No morality attached to that description--- it's just how I see her.
5. Agreed!
6. You know that I know that all White girls aren't the same! Some of y'all are WAAAAAY worse than others;o) Speaking of college, my encounters with them there (roomates, RA, athlete groupies, in passing) really had me thinking that it was an isolated thing. But corporate showed me an older version of more of the same. It's definitely a culture thing. Yeah, I can understand the intimidation factor. But beyond the reasons, from my experience, the presentation is quite redundant.
7. Put a number on "many". And are you laughing WITH them or AT them? (Cuz I'm familiar with the latter)
8. That's because you belong to a dying breed. You have just proven my WWW theory.

Ok, regarding # 4. You can't just take Rosie O'Donnell out of the white woman category because she doesn't fit your stereotype. I've had black friends tell me that I'm not "all white" (including you!) as a justification for (at least ostensibly) liking me. But you can't just select certain people out of the category.

Back to #6 -- I seriously have to fight my own inclinations to prejudge people. On several occasions I have wound up really getting along with someone who I initially thought was annoying/superficial/waste of time. But I really have to put the effort in to do that. How many WWWs have you really tried to get to know? Or how many WWWS have really tried to get to know you? It is a two-way street. If I may make a lame attempt to steal your opening analogy -- sometimes people look like grape juice but taste like cran-apple. That sounds more perverted than I mean it. But you get my point.

#7 There are plenty of people I laugh at -- but also plenty I laugh with. I've never actually counted how many before. Do you think Tina Fey is funny? I like her (the brain behind Mean Girls). Is she a WWW?
hee hee...
*cracking knuckles over keyboard*

#4. Your white chocolate-ness is NOT my justification for liking you. I like you because you are consistently Stoic Kristen, regardless of public opinion and you mingle with many despite differences. You are a far cry from what I describe and you know it. And I labeled Rosie as such because you're right, she DOESN'T fit my stereotype. Do I have to be White to do to her what you did to Paris Hilton? *smile*

#6. Indeed, I do get your point. If you need groceries, but you aren't looking for vegetables would you you still go to the grocery store? Of course you would. Because there other items there. And who knows? You might come across a great sale or decide you want vegetables after all. Trust me, I'm not speaking from a Black bubble. I'm speaking from experience. And what I've voiced is a playful conclusion on this experience because out of all of my homies, White women aren't as plentiful as others.

#7. Don't know enough about Tina Fey to comment I liked her "Superstar" skit though.

If I've offended you, I'm sorry. The very first thing I said was "in general". Yeah, they aren't PC but they exist for all of us in some way. You mentioned yourself that you have to "fight your own inclinations to pre-judge people". I just chose to voice one of mine, that's all.

Are you reading this like I'm demonizing all White women? Hope not. Cuz then you've gotta re-read.
No - I don't think you're demonizing people! I think you're being honest, and I thought the post was hilarious. I actually sent the link out to other people. I do think you're more open than your post suggests =) I might just sound defensive b/c I'm afraid of being a WWW.
No need for defenses, lol. WWW is not in your genetic makeup;o)
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