Friday, May 25, 2007

Female Flatus Freedom

I upped my fiber intake this week to 20 grams/day and now experience an astounding abundance of gas.

It's really out of control.

And not just due to the chronic gas-passing, but I'm now a regular on the poo circuit. (It's awesome!) I mean I have crapped out entire countries in the span of 5 days. Nature's Own has a double fiber bread that contains 5 grams in each slice (that's dope compared to the usual 3). I'm currently running an experiment to see how long the groceries I purchased Sunday will last me. As of now, $75 will go exactly 5.5 12-hour work days (which equals 2 tofu sandwiches per day).

I'm guessing that 20 grams of fiber a day is my tipping point.

And I'm sure that by now, a lot of you are pissed that you're even thinking about farting and poo, but that brings me to a point... How come women can't fart??

Married Folks and Left lung-Right lung couples have probably surpassed this state,
but (for the rest of us) what's up with that?

Women should have the same farting rights as men.

Driving home I couldn't help but be thankful I wasn't in the presence of anyone from the dating circle. Can you imagine??? But then I asked myself why couldn't I? I'm convinced that 2 of the guys could do it and get away with it by making it "A man thing". Women can't make farting cute. My brother has even declared that he would break up with a chick who did that in front of him.

The moment a guy is fartable and poo-able with,
you probably either share bloodlines

or are on your way to Left lung-Right lung Couple Land...
[or you blamed the stench on something believable]


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