E-RANTS AND INSIGHTS

Everyone who weighs more than me is going to roll their eyes but whatever. I've expanded way beyond the bloated boundaries of menstruation. This here ain't no water weight. When you squeeze into corduroy pants and keep hearing the beat of "The Percolator" song while you walk, it's time to re-evaluate why your thighs are now making house music. That's what I get for "deserving it" every time I had the craving. This also MIGHT have something to with being one month shy of my "Whatchu Mean Workout?!?" anniversary. But why couldn't I have gained weight in the off-season? Then I could work out in the pre-season and be right for game time. Oh well. Gotta love tunics and empire waists!



P.S.- God, if I say something really nice about Beyonce, Jessica Simpson, Tyra Banks, Reese Witherspoon, Taye Diggs, Marc Anthony, Puffy, Loyd, and how S.J. does NOT smell like chlorine and tartar sauce, can I please wake up with Naomi Campbell's legs??? Just for the spring and summer? I'll give them back afterwards!