E-RANTS AND INSIGHTS

Yesterday was one of those days where you just have to ask yourself, "Did that just happen?"

In one of our leadership training courses we have a few very "colorful" people. Drama Queens, Plastic Appeasers, Con Artists, Emotional Manipulators, and much much more. My 12-hour workday consists of a variety of things (that I still never manage to get done). One of them is managing the 12 participants of this program. So there's this one chick, Heather, who will bust out crying every time she gets confronted by ANYTHING. I don't mean external things like people, but just her own bullshit.

So yesterday, she and I are supposed to meet to talk about this event she's putting on. Mind you, she hadn't done shit and the purpose of our meeting was to empower her to be in action. So within the first 5 minutes, she wants to let me know that she's not feeling well, something is killing her, waa waa waa....

So I asked her "What are you committed to right now?"

"That question sounds ridiculous and I'm not going to answer that."

"It really isn't. If I'm clear on what you are committed to during this conversation, I can gauge how progressive this 30 minutes will be. So if you're committed to being a victim of sickness and upset, then cool. Let's reschedule for next week when you're committed to make this thing happen successfully."

I guess that wasn't what she wanted to hear.

She got up and yelled "I'm leaving! I am so sick of coming here and being made wrong by you! I am not feeling well and..."

"You're always sick! The last 5 times I've seen you, you've got SOMETHING!" I shot back.

" You have no compassion! And personally, I can't stand being around you!"

"Okay, Heather..." and I started laughing (because she sounded like the White people on TV). Then (of course, true to script) she stormed out the door.

I guess she wanted me to feed her soup with a side of pity. Sorry. Fresh out, boo boo.

So as the day moved on, this 6'4" 43 year-old White guy (who is HILARIOUS!) comes next to my desk while I doing some paperwork. I don't even lift my head but I see him moving in my peripheral vision. "Johnathan, what are you doing?"

"I'm making my butt clap."

The amazing thing was that I could tell he was really doing it. I refused to look. But he was doing it... randomly.

"Stay out of the strip clubs or I'll tell your wife on you."