E-RANTS AND INSIGHTS

My gift-wrapping skills are at an all-time low.

For a while, it used to be a quiet talent of mine.

All of my corners lined up with the precision of a military salute. I never creased more than once. No air pockets. Flawless execution every time. It was very similar to my parking skills.

Believe or not, parking was my strength for a while (shut up). It was! I was a very dope parker in Drivers Ed. I couldn't drive for isht but I could park the helloutta those Fords! Parallel? Done. Parking space (with no do-overs)? I got that.


That was up until I learned how to drive ABOVE the speed limit. I would say I conquered that about 2 years ago:o) Since I've experienced what a good tap of the gas pedal can do, I've slacked a bit on the parking. Put it this way, you don't have to know the car I drove but if I showed you the row I parked in, you'd find me. Guaranteed. It beez like that sometimes!


I went from "Did you pay for gift wrap?" status to a "Who did this?" fall from grace. Why? I could attribute it to being a slacker but what fun is that?? Instead, I'll justify myself with an explanation of how my focus is now on PURCHASING the gift to wrap instead of the gift wrapping.

Works for me.

(Sheeeeyit.)