Saturday, February 16, 2008

My Bubble: One Long Ass Analogy

I've always been aware that I had my own world. A world of things that I intentionally put there (physically or mentally) because they pleased me for some reason. Said another way, it was a world that consists ONLY of my interests, entertainment, and thoughts.

Going back to my teenage years when it originated, it was created as a defense. It was my way to shut people I didn't like (which consisted of 90% of the population...namely the Parental Unit and anyone that sided with them about ANYTHING) out. This fortress was enforced and protected by locked doors, silence, and my best weapon of defense: absence.

Then I transition to my collegiate years...

Still holding tight to my bubble, it now became a sanctuary. A place of escape. Refuge from the chaos known as undergrad. Whatever stability I had, I credit to the bubble. So my world at this time was no longer a way to survive but really to sustain. I was quite content being in my bubble and visiting Reality whenever I wanted or occasionally "had to".

Then there's young adulthood...

You know, as great as my world is it doesn't offer any jobs. Now having to deal with these types of new necessities of this new Life phase, there always screeching conflicts with my world and Reality. And as I grow and mature, I'm having to deal with Reality a lot more than I used to. A lot more. The transition isn't so smooth either. As an adult, there are consequences when you ignore Reality for too long. I've earned plenty of scars to evidence that but I'm still fighting to preserve my bubble for sentimental reasons. So there's probably going to be more scars....maybe even stitches. But as I evolve and my goals and ambitions follow suit, the desired results can only show up in Reality...which means I have to visit it much more.

So as I continuously evaluate and re-evaluate My World against Reality,

I'm realizing that the bubble that used to "protect" me

... is probably costing me the most harm.

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