E-RANTS AND INSIGHTS

Okay now.

You can't come out like this....

but then have all this going on in the back...

That's deceptive.

You can't fool the American people, Michelle!

We've been through too much for you to be delivering these false hopes!

We're tired of being lied to, Michelle! Weapons of mass destruction...nice hairstyling...we don't need this!

You've got a lot more eyeballs on you and that hair these days so I'm going to need you to have some conversations about the pinch ponytails. Only for the gym and house chores!

Speaking of which, I was wrong. My theory of why it took Barak so long to come out has been dismantled by Flickr.com. 'Tis cool. I can be wrong....sometimes (lol).

I mean, even today for me was very...ummm... "faux chic". I was doing my usual run/walk at the park and end up on camera for the local news. I was not representing. Anyone that was considering going natural is now officially a "Aw HELL Naw!"

I looked like The Morning After.

Actually no.

The Morning After at least grants you some smudged eyemakeup and maybe SOME type of concealer. No sir.

I was all exposed...raccoon eyes, uneven skin tone, washed out face ...just an embarrassment!

And I'll recover from this tragedy. Will I become one of those chicks who look cute when they're working out with their club-ready makeup and matching gear? No. But I vow to from here on out, slap a little black gel on these edges and hit up the waterproof mascara before I lace up my Nikes!

And that America, you can count on!

(I'm such a f'ing PATRIOT!)