E-RANTS AND INSIGHTS

DONE!

Maybe I sound embittered. Maybe cynical. Maybe deflated.

All of that could be true, but I am over all of the "Some day my prince will come" remixes. Prince Charming could knock on my door right now and I would look that sucka MC up and down like "What the fukk do YOU want??"

Where did this come from?

Several things.

But the straw that broke the camel's back?

Eva Longoria's failed marriage.

If little miss perfect (who I don't relate to at all) can't get a happily ever after,

I for sure ain't believing it exists.

Even if it does, I ain't interested. Not now.

I know all men aren't horrible (although I could make a pretty strong case for the majority). But right now? I honestly don't think men are worth it. There is nothing I think they have to offer me that I actually need at this juncture in my life. Absolutely nothing. And I know this phase will pass like all the others, but for right now I'm content.

I'm on what I like to call my Pippi Longstocking shit.

No man came riding in to save Pippi. She had her own horse. And a monkey. Some pirate treasure in the attic. A few super powers. Some homies (Tommy and Anika). And no Daddy issues (except for the fact that he was lost at sea and she hadn't seen him in a while). She lived in her own world and did whatever the hell she wanted...no matter how unconventional it was.

Now Pippi Longstocking was a child (I get that).

And Cinderella at least had her period (I saw those boobs).

So technically, I'm much closer to Cinderella

(only in menstruation...no cleavage in these cups!).

No matter.

I'm on my Pippi Longstocking shit.

And if he ain't my homie, he can kick rocks.

(For now anyway.)

Cinderella better get a damn job or a degree...

because from where I sit,

"Happily Ever After" ain't all the brochure says it is.