Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Reasons, Seasons, and Revolving Doors

Wow. I really went a whole month without a single post.

Time management isn't something that I can say is a strength right now. And while other things aren't exactly "handled" either, I assert that I'm finally coming around... sort of. I still owe a whole bunch of folks calls and emails I'm sure.

I'll get it together.

You know, the last 24 hours has occurred like a revolving door-- Someone came in and someone left, almost simultaneously. Yesterday afternoon, my homeboy who (very typical of his begrudging ass zodiac sign) I hadn't talked to in a while called me up from his new cell number to reconnect and say what's up. It was definitely a welcomed surprise and we chatted for a while.

Then I remembered that today is my other homeboy's birthday so I called him on my way in to work. Now he and I don't speak very frequently. As a matter of fact, I believe there's a 3-4 conversation max per year (in total compliment to that same begrudging ass zodiac sign. Coincidence? I think not.) But I still value him regardless of it all, so I roll with it.

Anyway, I call him up and to my surprise I hear,
"The PCS telephone number you have just dialed has been temporarily disconnected. Please try your call another time."

Dude changed his number and didn't even let me know??

I definitely went in my head about it. At first I genuinely thought he didn't pay his phone bill. But then, knowing his ass, I went with the "He changed his phone number." because that would allow more suffering and room to be an offended victim (lol).

I was thinking to myself,
"How can he not tell me? He must not want me to know.
Why wouldn't he want me to know? Maybe he wasn't thinking about it cuz we don't talk that much? But still! I always hit his ol' sorry ass up on his birthday. Damn, it's really like THAT? What the hell did I do to him to not be in the loop? That's some foul isht. Why wouldn't he give me his new number? We must not be as cool as I thought we were. I guess it was one-sided friendship. Damn, that's foul. I wonder how long this is has been. Months could've gone by! I can't believe he did that!"

On and on and on...

Now honestly? I have no idea what the deal is. But I saw how quick I went to make it about me and how willing I was to make sure it was invalidating as well. Maybe he didn't pay his bill, maybe he did change the number, and yes, maybe he doesn't want me to have his new number... or not. Either way, it is what it is and whatever soap opera I create doesn't make him accessible (even if it is for a birthday wish). You know, right after I sat with that thought, I remembered something from way back about people being in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.


Winter is coming.

(P.S. Happy birthday, T.D.!)

life lesson no. 138: don't think too hard about why a boy did or didn't do something, especially when you are not dating him. They don't think the way we do, they don't process the way we do, they are not considerate the way we are unless they are in love with you, unless they are trying to get some [insert body part or item here] from you, or unless they are trying to make you fall in love with them, or unless they are a family member or VERY close friend. If they don't fall into one of those categories, then don't think too hard b/c they are really just on a whole different level and it isn't even worth the energy. They are wonderful creatures but just don't think too hard about it. You'll get wrinkles and gray hair sooner than you think.

Good insight:o)
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