E-RANTS AND INSIGHTS

Wow. I really went a whole month without a single post.

Time management isn't something that I can say is a strength right now. And while other things aren't exactly "handled" either, I assert that I'm finally coming around... sort of. I still owe a whole bunch of folks calls and emails I'm sure.


You know, the last 24 hours has occurred like a revolving door-- Someone came in and someone left, almost simultaneously. Yesterday afternoon, my homeboy who (very typical of his begrudging ass zodiac sign) I hadn't talked to in a while called me up from his new cell number to reconnect and say what's up. It was definitely a welcomed surprise and we chatted for a while.

Then I remembered that today is my other homeboy's birthday so I called him on my way in to work. Now he and I don't speak very frequently. As a matter of fact, I believe there's a 3-4 conversation max per year (in total compliment to that same begrudging ass zodiac sign. Coincidence? I think not.) But I still value him regardless of it all, so I roll with it.

Anyway, I call him up and to my surprise I hear,

"The PCS telephone number you have just dialed has been temporarily disconnected. Please try your call another time."

I definitely went in my head about it. At first I genuinely thought he didn't pay his phone bill. But then, knowing his ass, I went with the "He changed his phone number." because that would allow more suffering and room to be an offended victim (lol).

I was thinking to myself,

"How can he not tell me? He must not want me to know.
Why wouldn't he want me to know? Maybe he wasn't thinking about it cuz we don't talk that much? But still! I always hit his ol' sorry ass up on his birthday. Damn, it's really like THAT? What the hell did I do to him to not be in the loop? That's some foul isht. Why wouldn't he give me his new number? We must not be as cool as I thought we were. I guess it was one-sided friendship. Damn, that's foul. I wonder how long this is has been. Months could've gone by! I can't believe he did that!"

Now honestly? I have no idea what the deal is. But I saw how quick I went to make it about me and how willing I was to make sure it was invalidating as well. Maybe he didn't pay his bill, maybe he did change the number, and yes, maybe he doesn't want me to have his new number... or not. Either way, it is what it is and whatever soap opera I create doesn't make him accessible (even if it is for a birthday wish). You know, right after I sat with that thought, I remembered something from way back about people being in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.